I finally got around to watching Cowspiracy this week. My friends have been banging on about it for ages, but I couldn't feel motivated to watch yet another "How it's mean to eat animals" film. I've seen so many. Still love bacon.
But it wasn't what I expected. It was much more focused on the environmental impacts of livestock farming. I was staggered by the statistics. Mind blown. Near the end of the film there's a guy who says "You can't call yourself an environmentalist and still eat animal products." and after seeing those incredible numbers, I had to agree with him. So I decided to go vegan.
As a confirmed meat-lover I can't say I was enraptured by the idea. I love meat. I love black pudding and lamb and pork belly and liver and lobster. I eat my steak blue. The bloodier the better. I love cheese and milk and eggs (even though eggs don't love me back so I hardly ever eat them.) ....... (but pancakes though!). I didn't really WANT to be vegan, but if I want to save the earth (or rather, humanity; the earth will do just fine without us) then I have to stop buying the things that are killing the environment.
So I'd decided to go vegan, but I wasn't that happy about it. A couple of days later I watched a video of a speech by Gary Yourofsky that my brother had recommended. And this did make me feel much better about it. I had to persevere through the beginning when he was going on about 'Thou shalt not kill' and other god stuff, but it was well worth watching through to the end.
There is also my health to consider. I have endometriosis and it's a pain. Ridiculous crippling pain. I have my symptoms in check at the moment, but this means having injections with very unpleasant and worrying side effects, like an increased risk of osteoporosis. As miraculous as they are, enabling me to carry on pretty much as normal, I don't fancy being on them for another 10 or more years. And whilst they help treat the symptoms, they don't tackle the cause of the endometriosis. There is no cure. Mind you, they say there's no cure for fibromyalgia too, but I cured mine by going on the Paleo Diet.
I looked at the endo diet and whilst it's not vegan. It includes very few animal products. So I'm aiming to meander into this as much as I can whilst I'm on my vegan journey. My health is paramount to me, and I intend to listen to my body and work out its needs. If they include animal products, then I think I'll eat animal products, but I'm going to take my time to see what works and what doesn't, with the long-term aim of becoming vegan. I want to avoid beating myself up about 'failing' when it doesn't quite go to plan.
My first meal of the day is coffee. Strong. Plenty of full cream milk. And my first step towards veganism was to drink it black. I'm cool with that. Yayy me being all vegan with my black coffee! About lunchtime I usually get a sausage roll. Not today. I did feel a bit bad, taking my business away from the nice independent bakery and going to Tescos instead, but I was feeling enthusiastic and the bakery doesn't sell anything vegan. I bought a portion of chips from the takeaway counter and a banana. Let me tell you....... never....... EVER buy those chips! They're RANK! I started feeling sick after eating about three of them. I thought I was feeling sick because I was hungry so I carried on eating them for a bit. But they really weren't good for me. And I'm pretty sure they're not even vegetarian never mind vegan! They tasted of everything-else-on-the-takeaway-counter-all-at-once. Overload. I ate about a third of the bag but they made me nauseous. I couldn't face the banana. I chucked the rest in the bin, feeling jipped.
By the time I got home I was starving. I devoured the banana and checked out the cupboards. There wasn't much vegan stuff to be found. Nothing I could eat instantly. So I relished a packet of mini-cheddars, savouring every one in a kind of fond farewell. I won't be eating them again so might as well enjoy my last bag eh?!
Main meal of the day: It's Friday night and I really cba. There's only one vegan cba option, so a tin of tomato soup it is. I grab a couple of water biscuits while it's heating up. No bread. I've already had quite a bit of bread this week and I need to stop that. Conveniently, there's none left anyway. Still hungry after the soup, I repeat the fond farewell process with a Kit-Kat. I don't feel guilty about eating it, because I know it's my last one. And I wouldn't want to waste it.
Here I am now. After my first 'trying to be vegan' day. It's past midnight and I'm BLOODY STARVING!! I have missed drinking milk the most. Generally I drink a lot of milk. I'm going to grab something to eat now and not worry if it's vegan or not. Probably a tin of rice pudding.
I'm pretty sure this will be a lot easier once there is actually some vegan food in the house.
Tomorrow I need to shop.